Pamela Wheat Harrold, Thriver Story
By Pamela Wheat Harrold
12/5/21
It all started with noticing my girth was getting a bit thicker. It was June 2014. I was very busy and finally happy with where my life was going. I was divorced from a terrible 29-year marriage that was crowded (if you know what I mean), just 3 ½ years prior. I had sold things, moved to another state, was still running my business, and was starting a new one to boot! I had even begun dating my future husband!
I made an appointment with my gynecologist, and after an ultrasound where he saw a HUGE “fibroid,” he began scheduling my complete hysterectomy. I was then 56 years of age. It took him until August to get the surgery scheduled, and by that time I was in such excruciating pain that I was literally immobile and looked 8 months pregnant! Even after at least 6 -7 calls to him during that time explaining what was happening, he insisted it was normal and just a “rotating fibroid.”
I had started researching and found the word “leiomyosarcoma” when I entered the symptoms I was experiencing. After reading, I shut off my computer because I was so frightened at the information on internet. I believe God was trying to prepare me for what I was fixing to be faced with. On the day of the surgery, I asked friends, family, every nurse, attendant, even the janitor to pray for me because I believe in prayer, and I knew it wasn’t a routine fibroid for some reason. I just knew inside.
When I woke up, the doctor assured me the hospital had performed 2 pathology reports that showed BENIGN MASS but he was sending it off anyway because it had “RUPTURED” as it was very, very large. He said when he opened me up, he knew he was out of his league and immediately called in another surgeon to help with the 27 cm tumor he found. They took it out in PIECES and cleaned out my abdomen.
I had my follow up appointment approximately 2 weeks after the surgery. I was so sick with fear because once again I just knew it was LMS in my heart. So, when he came into the room with his somber expression and said, “Well, it wasn’t the news we were hoping to get. It’s a really rare cancer that I have no experience with to be honest…It’s called leiomyosarcoma.” I interjected, “I know about it because I have already been researching. I knew I had it.” I will never forget the look on his face. He began again, “I’ll give you a referral to the MUSC Hollings Cancer Center and…” I interrupted, “I am going to MD Anderson or Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center.” He left the room then to “give me a few minutes to process this diagnosis.” I collapsed in the fetal position on the examination room floor, where I sobbed uncontrollably for about 15 minutes or so. His nurse let me out the side door when I left. I made my own referral because he didn’t follow through. In fact, I never heard from him again.
I went to MD Anderson for adjuvant care and did 6 rounds of doxorubicin/dacarbazine. My wonderful boyfriend accompanied me, and we stayed there for 7 months in Houston, Texas. It was very hard. He was by my side every step. He cooked for me and did great caregiving, but the thing that made me realize this was the right person for me was when he went to the chapel and kneeled, asking God to spare my life through his tears. While we were there, he proposed to me. I considered telling him no and in fact asked him to just move on (out of love for HIM), because I did not know what lay ahead. He said, “None of us know that, but I am here to stay.” And so he has. We had a beautiful wedding in June 2015 when we returned from Houston.
I went to and from MDA for the next 18 months for my scans. Then I had my first recurrence, and my oncologist at MDA did not want to allow surgery but instead wanted to start more chemo. I was shocked and even a bit devastated to get this news, to be honest, because I had had no symptoms at all. I was even more upset because my oncologist was so adamant about doing chemo first. It was a single tumor located in my abdomen again, except on the other side, and it was operable. However, starting with surgery was just not her way of doing things; she insisted on chemo first, then surgery. I refused this option. I asked her to present my case to the board and she refused. She advised me to “get off the internet and let [her] be the doctor.” I fired her.
I had joined the LMSDR website prior to the recurrence, and I asked for input which I gratefully received. I followed some of those valuable suggestions. Among them was to contact Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in NYC. I referred myself to and have been a patient of Dr Singer there ever since. I have just experienced my fourth recurrence and surgery with him. I love him…this surgeon is amazing. Each time so far he has been able to remove the tumor. I also had another primary cancer in my right lung that was there from the very first CT scan back in 2014. All of the previous doctors I had seen and ALL of the radiologists on every scan thus far had thought it was just a small benign indeterminate nodule, but it was actually a rare form of lung cancer. It was removed and staged at 1b. What tipped us off was slight growth after a 6 year period of dormancy. Dr Singer was still leaning towards an “inflammatory process,” but I was uncomfortable, so just to be cautious he had his colleague at MSKCC who is a lung surgeon take a look. He immediately suspected cancer when he saw the scan but was unsure what type. It was in later confirmed to be a rare mucinous adenocarcinoma unrelated to LMS.
I have been on this journey for 7.5 years and had 6 total cancer surgeries. Sometimes I knew I had another tumor because I could feel them in my abdomen. But with the first and this most recent recurrence I could not detect the tumor and had no symptoms at all. Even when I had the lung cancer, I ran a marathon.
I do not know what lies ahead, but I have started back riding my horses, and we are starting to build our dream home in a few months. I still run my business, albeit from home as the CEO. It is a large child development center. I stay in touch with fellow LMSers that have inspired and advised me through these years via the LMSDR website. Some I have met in person. I love them all. I am grateful for them in my life.
Sometimes I am a bit fearful of the future possibilities, so it’s then I hit my knees. Sometimes I have to remind myself to just breathe. But if I allow this cancer to run my life and rule my mind, then I am not living anyway. I am thankful for my Lord who has walked with me in this battle, and I do feel it is a battle. But I won’t just stop and be defeated. I will keep living and planning and hoping and praying daily. I will enjoy the life that I am allotted here, and I will try to help as many people as I can in the way I am allowed to help them.